Bad year for me

2008 is really a bad year for me. Everything doesn't seems right. From family to marriage to relationship to work, all are in a mess and all are negative. Got the retrenched news last week, i'm going to be retrenched. this really makes me feel that all the hard work, effort i put in are all rubbish to the company. haizzz..I got to start everything all over again..Sometimes come to think of it, i really have nothing left with me, doesn't have a family, marriage failed, my daughter not with me, even the one i love break off with me, no job, no money, not even a place i call home to stay in..Heaven really is so unfair to me, it gave me something yet took it away from me..

Everything turns out to be bad. I juz wanted to be happy, with my love one, and a stable job, a stable income, to save for my future house, but why heaven juz can't let me have it?? I'm really disappointed in life..

Phoebe's Birthday Party

Sorry, took so long to upload this. Phoebe's birthday party was a success, and thanks to all those who came. Phoebe has officially turned 4 years old. Time flies, Phoebe is going to K1 next year. Here are some of the party pics to share. Phoebe, mummy loves you!!!

Heart breaks again!!!

Today i finally realise that you are right..So miserable then why still want to go on loving..whatever i do, u will never be touched. To you, all these are juz rubbish and i'm juz a nobody, a person who you hope will leave you and never appear before you again..And no matter how she hurt you, how she used you, you are still waiting and longing her return..i'm really stupid and foolish to think that without her, and that i change, you will fall for me again..Everytime i failed the test, you will call & console me, but today becoz you are meeting her, u can even forgot to on back your phone, which means she's still very very very important to you..you never tot that i will sms you to tell you whether i pass or not, all you know is you are with her, everything else does not matter..you love her so much, but does she?? She dun even remembers your birthday..I love you so much, but do u?? You dun even care about my feelings..you know that she's a torn in my heart, yet you only tell me your are having dinner with her before i go for my test..when she's having exam, you say you dun wan her to to feel sad and mess up her exam (tis is so important to you)..But wat about me?? I'm oso having a test, a test which require my full concentration, but does tis happen to be in your mind?? And you can let me feel sad and mess up my test?? why am i juz so not important to you?? you actually dun intend to give her up, then why do you still lie to me that tis torn in my heart has been removed??

I really wish to get you out of my mind, out of my heart..i dun wan to continue feeling heart break, heart ache..its all enough...but why, why cant i juz get you out?? why do i have to love you so much to feel so pain?? i really cant take it anymore....

what a day....

Today is definitely not a good day for me. Drop 1 side of my contact lens, forgot to bring my specs (in case) to work. Can't see on one side, still have to work..:( wanted to book for facial, its all fully booked.. Haizzzzz..dun know what more could happen next...hope today ends faster...

MagMyPic

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Phoebe's 1st ever magazine cover...so cute, right?? hehehe

Phoebe's 4 years old Birthday Party Countdown

Phoebe's 4 years old Birthday Party Countdown

Time flies..4 days from now to Phoebe's 4 years old birthday. This year we are going to make it more special for her. A PARTY at Build-A-Bear Workshop, but mummy's going to burn a big hole in her pocket. The theme for this year's party is BEARS. So everything will got to do with bears, from the cake, food, to the gifts the kids are going to get. I'm sure looking forward to the party. From planning to organising to booking of venue, ordering of food, making of invitation cards, Phoebe was involved as much as possible. Haha, this will make her feel special. Hmmmm, thinking of last year's party at school, this year's is more exciting, interesting and more guests invited. Some pics from last year's party for recapped.

4 days work week

Company is going to start a temporary arrangement of a 4 days work week. From nez Monday onwards, every Monday will be a off day. Hmmmm, come to think of this, its not actually a good thing to happen in such a downtime now.Cost saving by operating 4 days lesser a month, will it work? Maybe juz in the short run ba..Hopefully, this economic crises will be over soon, if not i guess soon we will have another retrenchment exercise again..

With the addition of day, what should i do leh?? Plan for holiday? Catch up with friends? Do my facial, shopping, manicure, pedicure? Really starting to wonder what shall i do while everyone else will be working...hahaha..Friends out there, dun envy me, ok...:P

Sweet Memories

Two years ago, I met you. You gave me a new hope in life. You make me feel love and like a princess. Everything we do together, the places we went together, the words you say to me, all these are the sweetest memories in my life. From the 1st pic we took till the recent ones, all these keeps flashing in my mind, be it we are still a couple or friends, every single details will all be in my mind and my heart. Hopefully we can and able to create even more sweet memories together.

Still very in love with you

From day 1 of our break off till now, my heart & mind is still so in love with you. Even i knew that you dun love me at all and that you truly and madly love someone else, i still chose to 傻傻的爱着你.

Last Sunday night you told me alot of things, the relationship between the girl you love and you. How she make use of you, how she had hurt you. I felt your pain, i truly do. I cried not becoz you dun love me, its becoz you are hurt so deeply by her. I ever say that i'm willing to do watever that will let you be happy and i will truly give you my blessing if she truly loves you. But now she's not, i knew it all along, i feel i wanted to scold you, even slap you to make you awake but i knew you won't listen to me. In fact you will be angry with me.

At times, i feel that you should be hurt by the one you love coz i'm oso deeply hurt by the one i love (you). But when i see how hurt and pain you are, i'm more upset than when you say break off. I really hope that you will be happy. If your being with me and your being with her will both make you unhappy, i really rather you be with me coz at least i won't hurt you, you will not feel pain and so miserable. I dun know how to console you, i oso dun know wat to say to you. i can only listen to your sorrows and share the pain with you.

You told me that the "ci" in my heart has been removed. But do you know that actually its not. Today you went to do revision with her, i'm worried and scare. I'm worry you will listen to her lies again and i'm scared that you will start with her and get hurt by her again. But i know your heart will still go to her if she wants you to. You once say love is selfish, indeed it is. When we were together, i love you tats y i'm scare to lose you. i'm too selfish to think that i'm able to keep you, become so pocessive, so demanding, so not understanding, the most regretted thing i've ever done is not trusting you and even check on you.

I know these are the reasons why u wanted a break off, and when i finally realise my mistake, everything was already past. i wanted so much to start all over again but then last Sunday's conversation lets me know that its impossible. I know and won't force you to love me but please, please dun make yourself miserable and get cheated by her again, it really hurts me to see you sad. Promise me that you will let go and be happy from now on. And remember that i will always be with you whenever you nedd me and i will still be waiting and longing your return.